The Sassy Slut’s Guide #2; Birth Control; condoms

30 Aug

Yo Sluts! What a reception the first blog had! I’m pretty excited to be widely read so please, share it with your friends! Suggest material you wanna see. Feel free to get in touch if you’d like to write your own guest column. I am open to sassy sluts of all kinds being involved with making this world a sluttier, happier place. I am currently working on a sassy slut manifesto, this shit is going to be off the hook. Anyway, to business. Let’s talk condoms, bebeh. Continue reading

The Sassy Slut’s Guide #1; The Handbag

22 Aug

Ms Dentata’s guide to a good slut-bag.

(How to be prepared for almost any eventuality post-one-nigh-stand)

1. Spacious, multi-function bag: The one I have used in this kit is not ideal. But goddamn it is pretty. I tend towards the satchel-style bag. I find animal print transitions easily between day-glam and night-glam. Satchel strap means you can booty dance with yr bag attached to you, like a geek/hang it over yr shoulder while you drink at the bar. This little touch makes it easier to take the slut-bag everywhere with you.

2. Condoms. Do I even need to explain more? Personally, my faves are Shield XL or regular Durex ones. Make sure you’ve got at least 1 small and 1 large size, these things do happen.

3. Painkillers. In case of blister, hangover, or wrestling bruises.

4. Eye makeup. If you can shmear off last night’s face and re-apply eye makeup, people will often assume you have showered.

5. Toothbrush. Don’t care if it’s weird to steal someone’s toothpaste before and after sex. I like clean teeth, and I feel much more functional with them. This is probably a personal value judgement, but I fully endorse clean teeth as a fresh start to a hungover day.

6.Chocolate. I am also partial to Cookie Time Triple-Choc Cookies as a breakfast treat. Sugar. Yum.

7. Clean Panties. Are nice some mornings.

8. Sunglasses. In case of hangover. Or leaving the bar at 7am to go to someone’s house, and walking out into unexpected harsh glaring daylight, with suits rushing past on their way to work.

9.Drink bottle. For hydration. Trust me.

10. Diary. Many a morning have I woken up at a new friend’s house and referred to my life-planner. It’s invaluable in making sure yr day runs smoothly. Owning a diary helps me be a boss bitch.

The Sassy Slut’s Guide to The Sassy Slut’s Guide

21 Aug

Hi! First monday of the semester break here, so I thought I’d get the ball rolling.

I have decided upon the format for this blog. At least weekly we shall feature a new article, covering an essential part of the skillset that has turned me into the bad-ass bitch I am today.

I have decided on the first few articles.

1.The Sassy Slut’s Guide to The Handbag (aka Everything You Need to Look Classy the Morning After)
2. The Sassy Slut’s Guide to Birth Control (aka Everything You Need to Not Get Preggers)
3. The Sassy Slut’s Guide to Craft Beerz (aka How to Impress Boozers With Your Good Taste)
4. The Sassy Slut’s Guide to the Kitchen (aka How To Impress Potential Sexual Partners with Minimum Effort and Maximum Deliciousness)
5. The Sassy Slut’s Guide to Big Hair
6. The Sassy Slut’s Guide to A Big Ass (aka A Week of My Diet (aka Cheese, Beer, and Chocolate))

Feel free to send in any suggestions/volunteer yr sassy slutty self to write a column for me.

Happy Slutting!

Greetings

18 Aug

Stay tuned for short, snappy, and sassy tips to being as much of a boss as I am.

In the meantime, here’s a picture of a kitten that looks like Pikachu.